Monday, November 03, 2008

Forgive Yourself

Welcome, beautiful traveler. I greet you with cheeks recently red on a day when the sun is bright in the blue sky outside and I know that things are looking up.

If you're anything like me, you probably think, pretty regularly, "I am such a moron."

Now, you're probably not actually a moron, and you almost certainly know that you're not actually a moron, but life is weird and difficult and forces us to make choices and most of those choices are completely unremarkable and cause us no ill effects, but when even a small choice turns out to be a small mistake, we think, "I am such a moron."

In the best of cases, we think this with a laugh and it is healthy.

But in the not-so-best of cases, we think it and mean it, and in those cases it's a very dangerous thing to think.

There are two reasons why it's so dangerous.

First, our brains are self-reinforcing mechanisms. Habits of thought strengthen neuronal connections in the brain and create the patterns that are our memories and that guide our outlook on life. The more often we think of ourselves negatively, the stronger the negative connections become, and the more quickly our brains jump to those patterns when we receive a negative stimulus. This is the biomechanism of depression, and it's why depressive people can go into a tailspin at even the tiniest problem. Their brains have practiced negativity so thoroughly that the response is automatic.

The second danger is that even if we're not prone to depression, we will start to use "I am such a moron" as an excuse. It will become a shield against the need to improve ourselves. And really, even if you're not a moron (in fact, especially if you're not a moron), you need to improve yourself. 

Not because it is bad to be flawed, but because it is so good and so empowering to conquer your flaws.

Own your mistakes. Forgive yourself for them. Take them in and build a better you with them.

You're definitely not a moron, and I believe in you.

Thank you, goddess of love, for self-forgiveness, and for friends who help us to practice it.

Lovingly yours,

A devotee

2 comments:

Strumpet said...

It's weird.

Sometimes I DO think I am a moron very much.

But, that thought usually goes away relatively quickly, because my brain tends to examine the WHY in regards to whatever possibly moronic thing I have done.

And when I know and understand the WHY about why I did the possibly moronic thing...

...well, it really doesn't seem that moronic at all.

The only thing that makes it possibly moronic was the outcome of the situation and NOT the reasons WHY I allowed myself to partake in doing something that could be perceived as possibly moronic.

So, when I know my heart was in the right place, or that the logic was solid, or even if I just felt like taking a risk....whatever the reason...I trust and know myself well enough that I usually DON'T make moronic decisions. My reasoning stems from a pretty great place usually.

Me.

And I like me.

Not to say that I'm not a moron.

It's just that I like to use more positive terminology like...

'goofball'

or

'silly pie'

or

'weirdo'

or

'dorkbutt'

or

'crazy in a good way'

or many, many more.

'Moron' just has such negative connotations.

I mean, I have made BAD decisions, most definitely. But, when I examine why I made the decision in the first place, it totally reminds me that I am NOT a moron, and simply a dorkbutt.

Devotee said...

Strumpet,

Once again, you've given me something to aspire to.

Someday, maybe someday soon, if I work at it, I will graduate from "moron" to "dorkbutt."

: )

Thanks for being such a non-moron!